I was at a friends house last night and we split and finished an entire wine bottle of mushroom tea. It was wonderful. We watched the non linear, non narrative driven film Baraka, if you haven't seen it, you should. It was beautiful. Afterward as I sat in the livingroom by myself and contemplated my hands, I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do but it was eluding me. I was however, in my attempt, able to distill all of existence into everything and nothing, I knew nothing and almost everything. The one thing that kept slipping by was why I couldn't reconcile myself with the whole, as I seemed to remain separate, while in all actuality I was a part of it all the time.
Experiencing all at once is more exhausting than I imagined it would be. But ultimately I'm glad to have been there and more glad to have been able to take the initiative to separate consciousness at the time. at this time in my life I don't think it would be a good thing to place myself there permanently.